Three ways to live a BIG life
My wife, Emma, and I have been married for a little over six years now. She is incredible. She’s a great wife, mom, and friend. If you know her, you know how genuinely sweet she is and how much she enhances every space and place she is in.
One time we got in a pretty big fight, like most spouses do! I can’t even remember what the argument was about, but I do remember the dagger she hit me with that ended the fight. As I was carrying on and trying to prove I was ‘right’ about whatever we were fighting about, when with tears in her eyes, she said, “Sometimes you make me feel so small.” As that statement hit me, I began looking for the nearest barrel of acid to jump in.
It crushed me to know that the person I love most in the whole world, felt that way. And that I was the cause. It’s the total opposite of how I want her to feel.
My goal is to live a really BIG life. I want it to be full of adventures, accomplishments, experiences, impact and love. I would say that most people would agree with that goal. But in that moment, I learned that sometimes in my pursuit of a big life, I can easily make those around me feel small. That’s the antithesis of what I want to achieve. In fact, that’s the quickest way to make your life feel small as well.
“Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter.”
I actually believe that making your life BIG, happens best when you’re making the lives of those around you bigger along the way.
It reminds me of the interaction that Jesus had with the tax collector, Zaccheaus. Luke, the writer of the Gospel of Luke, tells us that Zac was literally a small man, short in stature. But after an afternoon spent with Jesus, he felt bigger than he ever thought possible.
There is a lot of contexts that goes a long with Zac’s life, but here are some key points. He was Jewish, but seen as a traitor because he worked for the Romans collecting taxes from his own people. He was rich and powerful, but not fulfilled. And he was physically small, which possibly played some kind of emotional role in his life. He would have been familiar with the Jewish law, and yet it wasn’t enough to bring joy and peace into his life.
All that Changed when he met Jesus.
Jesus led a big life. I mean, you don’t get much bigger than God incarnate. Wherever Jesus went he healed, forgave, provided, and made others bigger. What a life. And that’s exactly what he did with little Zac.
By the end of their interaction Zaccheus stands up and announces he’s paying back what he stole and giving away most, if not all of his money. The Jewish law never inspired him to transformation, but an encounter with Jesus did.
From my observation of the story here are three ways Jesus lived a big life, and helped others do the same:
Jesus made people feel SEEN
Zac is up in a tree, binoculars out, scoping for this Jesus guy. As Jesus approaches he spots Zaccheus in the tree. Jesus stops, and by name says, “Zaccheus, come down immediately, I must stay at your house today.”
I’m guessing it was rare for someone to want to spend time with Zaccheus unless they wanted something from him. A con of being rich and powerful. And yet Jesus knew the need he had in his heart, which is not different from most peoples. A desire to be known. That’s why it’s no surprise to me that almost everyone and their dog is trying to attain fame and notoriety through the latest social media trend.
Jesus understood that if you meet this need in others the right way, you can help unlock a peace and joy in their lives that surpasses all understanding. The goal is not be known by many, but rather to be truly known by those who matter most.
Jesus made people feel SUPPORTED
While they’re hanging out at Zac’s house the people observing what was going on begin to mutter about how Jesus has gone to hang out with a sinner. These mutters must have been loud enough to hear, because Luke was able to record them. I don’t know about you, but if I heard people talking bad about me, I’d feel pretty small, embarrassed, and wouldn’t have much courage.
But Jesus seems unphased and must have continued to act in a way that made Zac feel supported, because after we see the account of the people talking trash, Zacchaeus stands up…that’s a big deal. It’s hard to stand up in front of people when theyre rooting for you, so imagine the feeling you’d have when they’re booing you. But the only person he must have been paying attention to the most, was supportive Jesus, because he stood and proclaimed his new goal to be radically generous.
Jesus knew that the smallest amount of support can pull someone from their darkest spot, no matter their circumstances.
Jesus helped people feel like they BELONGED
As a Jew working for the romans as a tax collector in a Jewish town, Zacchaeus was hated, outcasted, and belittled. Yet, Jesus wasn’t concerned about how the world had seen Zac, but was rather focused on who he knew Zac could be!
Jesus pronounced at the end of the story that Zacchaeus belongs! That he too is a son of Abraham. An important statement declaring that Zac is not an outsider, but is seen as righteous by God.
The desire to feel seen, supportive, and to belong are basic needs that all of us humans wrestle with. There are counterfeit promises that feel the void momentarily, but only one true anchor that is lasting; being a friend of Jesus, the friend that sticks closer than a brother.
Jesus’ meantime on earth consisted of 33 years, and during that time he lived one of the biggest lives ever recorded. His mission was to seek and save the lost, AKA help every human being live a BIG life. I can’t help but believe that if we follow the three ways in which he did it, we will achieve the same outcome!