My Hope in the Fog

In The Meantime…Is a space I could not be more familiar with than right now. The place in which I stand where all of yesterdays decisions have led me. The place where future plans and dreams are sprinkled up on the horizon. Some flash like neon boards with clear upcoming dates and paths, while most are like vague road signs with seemingly little direction. The fog is thick…but not like the fog of a horror movie; rather, more like an early rising vapor with the mornings breaking light shining through. And I stand there with an expectation that is hopeful, yet, one that still keeps fear as a small pet.

I am extremely grateful to recognize that this is the place where I find myself in life. Not everyone gets to experience a type of freedom that gives room to both courage and consternation simultaneously.

As I wrestle with God on aligning my dreams for my life with His dreams for my life, I can’t help but believe that I am not in isolation when it comes to figuring out how to live the full and abundant life He offers for us all. From conversations and observations this seems to be an octagon that many others find themselves scuffling in as well. It looks different for everyone. But the match has two outcomes: to come out more confident, stronger, and learned; or to stumble out defeated, empty, and more unsure. From what I can tell, God only desires the former for you and me.

Peter (one of Jesus’ eventual disciples) had his first encounter with Jesus on a day where he was defeated and no doubt had a future layered with foggy sign post (Luke 5:1-11). He was a fisherman, who on this day had no luck at actually catching any fish. That all changed once Jesus showed up, but that wasn’t the only thing that changed.

Peter was cleaning his empty nets when the man named Jesus, who was teaching a crowd, stepped into Peters boat and asked him to push it a little from shore so he could use it as a platform to speak to the ever growing crowd. Wildly enough, Peter allowed it. As Jesus finished he turned to Captain Peter and said, “go a little deeper and cast your nets”. What a weird request from what we can best tell is a stranger to Peter.

Peter replies by explaining that they hadn’t caught anything before and they worked hard all night. If you allow a touch of humaneness to enter the story, you can probably assume Peter would have been a little frustrated by the request of this man. After all, its merely a foggy sign post, there is no promise that a large catch of fish was upon the horizon. But Peter doesn’t stop with airing out his grievances and complaints. He goes on by saying, “But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

The next bit of the story records Peter catching so much fish another boat has to come out to help bring them all in. Before they even make it to shore their nets begin to break because the volume of fish they caught. Every Fishermans dream.

Peter is actually overcome with a bit of fear by what just happen. But Jesus turns to him and tells him not to be afraid, and that now he’ll be a fisher of men instead of a fisher of fish (foggy signpost). The part of me that likes being the captain of my own life like Peter was of his boat would have expected Peter to reply with, “or you become part of the team and we slay fish on a daily basis.” But instead it says he drops everything and follows Jesus.

Peter drops his nets twice in this story and both times its because Jesus tells him to. Both request come with uncertain outcomes. And both outcomes are wildly different. Uncertainty is the marker of a foggy future we’re called into. Though we could step into it, we often resort to maintaining the comfortable, even when we know it’s a compromising decison.

Peter found himself in the meantime for how to face his future, and he mustered up the tiniest bit of faith he could find to step into the one God had for him. The uncertainty was worth it to him because he had the certainty of Christ along the way.

I know that last line can come off a bit cheesy, cliche, and feel like an empty platitude. But isn’t that exactly what we’re to do if we have decided to follow this man like Peter did? If you haven’t decided to follow Jesus, then yeah, I mean the uncertainty of the future is probably going to be a little harder to step into. But for those of us that have chosen to follow the life, teachings, and commands of Jesus, we too should find ourselves repeating the words, “But because you say so, I will drop the nets.”

I don’t know what nets you are needing to drop, and I don’t know in what manner. It might be the next step for your business/career that you’ve been afraid to take, or it might be an entirely new vocation. It could be a new spiritual practice, or dedicing to actually begin following Jesus for the first time. It could be a new health discipline, or an entirely new outlook on how you live your physical life in general. The list can go on and on. I know what my nets are but I don’t know yours.

I do know this for all of us, its no small feat to drop our nets when they are usually the only bit of certainty we have as we walk through this life.

But here is what I can’t stop thinking about when I recognize that in this comfortable age we are at the same time battling more worry, fear, and anxiety ever recorded. Jesus tells us not to worry, and that we are to give God all of our cares and anxieties because He cares for us. When it comes to the fog and the uncertainty of the future, that is quite the ask. But like Peter, I want to turn to Jesus, tell him why I am worried and anxious and then respond with, But because you say so, I will drop my nets.

The uncertainty will probably never go away, the fog may never lift, but the outcome will most definitely be beyond anything I could ever dream or imagine. Thats good news. In the meantime, I have decided I don’t need to see the eventual destination, or know every upcoming turn, to begin traveling down the road. The signs in the fog will give me direction along the way!